When I stopped drinking, I ‘lost’ a lot of friends. When my mom died, I “lost” a lot more. Maybe they didn’t know how to have a conversation with me without a drink in my hand, so they didn’t invite me to “hang out.” Maybe they didn’t know how to deal with a friend that was going through grief. Sobriety and Grief are taboo in our culture.
What did I do when I didn’t have those people around? Well, I read. I explored. I met others. I grew and changed. I became a different person, and one thing I know for sure is that I’m not sad for ‘losing’ those people. Like a butterfly, I had to molt, to go inside myself to emerge new and whole. You have to leave some behind to become new. There is no apology needed.
If you get the chance, I highly recommend The Stiicky Eddie Podcast Episode # 58. Chelsea explains and relates stories about this topic in a brilliant way. If you have a moment, please give it a listen.